Herons

It was spring of 2006 when I first noticed them. How excited I was to see a heron flying over downtown Louisville. Then another and another. They would appear alone, or in numbers of up to 5 that I have seen. It seems they have a flight path that crosses over 65 near St Catherine and Floyd St. I found out recently, that to the dismay of many people, they nest in or around Germantown, flying to and from the river, bringing fish carcasses and polluting neighborhood yards; I personally would be thrilled to have a heron in my yard, dead fish, stinky poop and all. In any case, back to the story at hand... I think they are night herons.

Here's a night heron photo

I took of a few years ago:

As most of you know, I have a bit of an obsession with birds. I feel the need to point most birds out to others as I see them (which can be really annoying to others on road trips).

Last year, I spent most of my time, energy, love, friendship and frustration fixated on one other person. Every time I saw one of these herons, I pointed it out. As we spoke on the phone many times throughout the day, we would be in the middle of a conversation, and I would briefly interrupt to say, "oh, there goes another heron". And in another few minutes, "there's 2 more", and so on it went. It got to the point that she requested I merely keep a tally of all the birds I saw and report it to her once a day.

This year, I am happy to say that I don't talk to any one person on the phone 15 times a day and I am not burdening one person with my heron speak. We could spend lots of time analyzing the seemingly lack of compassion in this other individual, but this is my side of this story, and besides I have done that plenty!

The point I wish to make is that I feel like I am tons healthier this year. I haven't and don't put all my eggs in one basket. I share my stories and my life with many people. I don't look to one person to meet all of my needs, nor do I try to meet all of one person's needs. I think this makes for one much more emotionally healthy Kelly and one who has great gratitude for all of those with whom I am sharing the herons in 2007.

What if...

Today I was introduced to my first case of the "what ifs". It knocked the wind out of me for quite some time, and is likely not gone yet. Words of wisdom from a wise friend...

"...there are no what ifs, there is only what is"

and something to the effect of...

"Kelly, you ain't that big and bad that you could have controlled, prevented or changed this"

She's right, of course. I suppose this is just part of my process... I was a little surprised by the "what ifs". They definitely sneaked up on me. Three months ago, I was angry when it was suggested that any one could have done any thing differently to have achieved another outcome. Everyone did the best they could, right? RIGHT?

Back to the simple point of it... it just simply is... that's all.

It is.

Random Peacock

So there was this peacock walking up Grinstead today. He walked on the side of the road, I swear he stopped to look before crossing Bardstown Road, actually at the crosswalk. It was obvious that all the nearby cars were aware of the bird, so traffic was stopped and all were safe.

Very thankful am I for my new camera phone!

Here he is right behind the bus stop on Grinstead and Bardstown Road:

Apparently, he decided not to take the bus today

and instead walked through Wendy's parking lot:

He continued on, heading down the alley behind Pita Delight's. I was obviously stalking him at this point. He was approaching Baxter avenue and I was certain that Mr. Peacock wasn't going to take a right to cross at the crosswalk at Bardstown and Grinstead.

I slammed the car in park, jumped out and ran down the alley, arriving just in the nick of time to run out into the middle of the road to stop traffic so Mr. Peacock could cross safely.


Here he is on some unknown mission- likey headed to the cemetary; although not Cave Hill, which is where he came from:

Feeling my duty was complete, I headed home to blog about the event. An after thought... should I actually have been run over by one of the cars that I stopped, know that I would have died happy, as long as the bird was able to cross safely.

The First Annual Father's Day Hike/Picnic at Bernheim

Carol brought her father's ties to give to all of us.

It was a hard day for me; in fact it was a hard weekend for me.

However, this day was filled with moments of laughter and fun,

tenderness and comfort, good food and wonderful friends,

ritual and spirit, support and love for all of us,

trees and vultures, and sharing and tears.

Thanks to all who came and shared and loved.

So, the thing about grief...

is that it can come up and bite you in the ass when you have been ignoring it for too long.

I once watched this hawk do an amazing thing. A storm came up quickly, the winds became abruptly strong and the sky opened up and rain poured heavily. I watched this hawk fly through the storm for a bit and land on this large branch. It had to really fight to keep its perch. It hung in there for some time, struggling all the while. Then it flew to another branch, one I thought was less sturdy. What happened surprised me. The hawk rode the branch as it moved with the winds. She didn't struggle much, other than latching on with a good tight grip. The storm ended as quickly as it had appeared and the hawk flew away, seemingly not any worse for the wear.

Now that was January 3, 2006. I reflect on this often and sometimes I find a new lesson therein. This is what I thought of today:

• One should not fly through the storm as if it doesn't exist. Instead, it's a good idea to recognize, honor and respect the storm.
• One should not rely on the seemingly most sturdy branch around. Just because your foundation seems strong, clinging to it might mean you have to fight extra hard to weather the storm.
• Finding a branch that gives seems to be the best way to endure a storm. Find a foundation that allows some flexibility and gives a little; dig your claws in and ride it through to the end. Knowing there will likely be another wave of that strong band of storms coming from the west... and there's nothing one can do to prevent it; just prepare to ride it out.

I'm off to get my yellow slicker, some boots, some goggles so I can better see through the storm, and maybe a life jacket to hold me afloat should the branch fall and I drown in my own tears.

by the way, happy father's day!

The Tent

Here's a photographic journey of the reassembly of my tent after it was mistakenly disassembled rather than simply folded.

First attempt; it might work as a Tepee?

53rd Attempt and two hours later;

after help from 2 nice neighbor guys.
Attempts 2-52 were not photographed because of severe frustration,
blood, sweat, and tears that nearly drove the photographer insane.

Rainfly assembled correctly!

Me; exasperated, yet thrilled that
the task was accomplished!

random poem of unknown origin

How magical and wondrous you once were
An enchanted prisoner became the heart
Like so many before

It grew twisted and bent and skewed

Need and want became one in the mind
Needing communion with your heart
Wanting a drop of love in return
All joy was held within your hands

Divine Providence like thunder cracked your façade
Allowing in a glimmer of light and hope and truth
And lightening struck with inexpressible force and vengeance
And shattered the spell that was

With gratitude for the experience
And compassion for your emptiness
This heart grew wings
And learns to fly free

Multiple Mottoed

So, mottoed is actually a word, I looked it up. However, when I say that I am multiple mottoed in '07, it sounds like I say multiple mottled, which I think describes me as well... but I digress.

Another motto I claim for this year:

• I am Sharin' the Herons in '07

I will try to follow up eventually with an explanation of that one. Meanwhile, if you can't wait that long, call me, I'll explain.

What's your motto for 2007?

As mentioned in a previous post, 2007 was originally suppose to be The Year of Beer for me. However, due to a life altering decision made by another, in March, I altered it to be The Year of Bourbon. I was also originally looking forward to participating in the Casual Dating '07 movement, but that doesn't feel right anymore either. I feel now as if I need to actually make a plan to do things in my life rather than merely saying I should do these things; therefore my new motto is Makin' it Happen in '07!

• I am Makin' it Happen in '07!
• Jen is In It To Win It in '07!
• Erick is Napping on the Couch in '07!
• Carol is Raising the Bar-n in '07!

What are you doing in '07?

• Rachel is Casual Dating in '07
• Kate says You Ain't That Big 'N Bad in '07