Hope is a thing with feathers, That perches in the soul, And sings the tune without the words, And never stops at all.-Emily Dickenson

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

Wild Geese

by Mary Oliver

You do not have to be good.
You do not have to walk on your knees
for a hundred miles through the desert repenting.
You only have to let the soft animal of your body
love what it loves.
Tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mine.
Meanwhile the world goes on.
Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain
are moving across the landscapes,
over the prairies and the deep trees,
the mountains and the rivers.
Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air,
are heading home again.
Whoever you are, no matter how lonely,
the world offers itself to your imagination,
calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting-
over and over announcing your place
In the family of things.


Sunday, September 16, 2007

Departure- Retreat Part 3

On my way out, I stopped one last time at Mary's Lake; to soak in the sunshine and crisp autumn breeze, to search perhaps again for the Great Horned Owl protecting her surrounding Forrest, or to catch another glimpse of the Fishing Green Heron.

As I walk away towards my car that will take me back to reality, I feel saddened to leave Mary's Lake and Cedars of Peace. As I feel the sorrow and pangs in my heart, I believe that I will leave a piece of me here. As those thoughts and feelings settle in my mind and heart, I also realize that I will be taking a piece with me. A piece of the land and the trees, the butterflies and frogs, the cleansing breeze and the sunshine, the dragonflies, deer, owls and herons, and the Forrest surrounding the lake. It is now as it has always been, a part of me.

As I continue walking away, it brings me joy to think of my sharing the heron theme of this year. I will share the heron, the owl and the Forrest, with all those I know. Which is to say, that I will share the love, the peace, the wonder and the hope that I have found in this moment.

Can't see the Forrest for the trees? Retreat Part 2



I wander around deep in the woods, seeing beauty all around. Feeling connected to nature and God- and feeling grounded and happy- seeing owls in the middle of the day, butterflies landing on my leg and shoulder, watching a green heron fish in the lake for hours, then taunt me with a nearby visit.

Feeling at one with all becomes a visual thought while watching my shadow move across the landscape and become part of the shadows of the trees. Watching the shadows merge, I have never doubted less the one-ness of all things, all beings.

Even still, frustration turns in me, as I still can't seem to find Forrest's presence. It does eventually occur to me that I may be a bit stubborn (OK, so it's not a new thought). Am I looking too hard- beyond all the magic that is happening all around me? Maybe he is here- in the Forrest surrounding the lake, near the heron, maybe he is the heron- Forrest was quite the fisherman in his day. I will try today to not look so hard for answers and signs, and believe that I did see the Forrest- and the trees- and I will enjoy the peace that brings.

Saturday, September 15, 2007

Retreat

I just spent a 48 hour retreat alone in a cabin at Cedars of Peace at the Sisters of Loretto in Nerinx, KY.
Thank God for cell phones and friends that text and leave messages, allowing my solitude to not feel like isolation.
Here's a few things I discovered while gone:
  • I stayed in wonder, yet hope was visible just outside my door. Seriously, "Wonder" was the name of my cabin and was nestled just behind "Hope"; which of course meant to me that hope is just ahead.
  • I am not a country girl. As I wandered down the gravel road, I kept noticing corn cobs strewn about. I immediately thought how sweet it was for the sisters to feed the squirrels; as that's what we do in the city, buy dried corn on the cob to feed the squirrels. I had already marvelled at the massive corn field just to my left that had already been cut down for the season. It did eventually occur to me that is where the corn cobs had come from.
  • Ants can eat a butterfly alive. It was a sad sight for me. I tried to intervene, but it was already looking a little too late for the butterfly. I cried.
  • I witnessed a pair of dragonflies playing by the lake, skimming the water for dinner. Then, suddenly one became trapped in some algae funk and was unable to fly away. You can maybe imagine the loud bzzzing that was occurring as the dragonfly flailed about trying to escape the vegetation's death grip. I was able to relieve my butterfly guilt and rescue the most beautiful green dragonfly I have ever seen as its playmate buzzed about frantically watching the entire episode. I also let the picture of the day escape me as a result. I was stalking a green heron in hopes of capturing a photo of his winged departure. He flew away while I was putting on my super hero cape.
  • A troupe of deer make less noise in the woods than a single squirrel. I find that fascinating.
  • Twin beds are indeed much smaller than my king size bed at home. I rolled over to grab my phone to receive a text... and rolled off the bed and onto the floor, where I stayed laughing wildly for a bit.
  • The number one can represent loneliness or it can represent one-ness with all and connected-ness and therefore not alone at all.

I went to the woods seeking

solitude, comfort and peace


I entered the woods fearing

Isolation, pain and despair


I steeped in the woods soaking in

Wonder, hope and joy


I left the woods feeling

Love, peace and connection


I come away renewed, refreshed and resurrected

My mind, my spirit and my soul.

Thursday, September 06, 2007

Thanks to All

Here's a picture of the card that was placed on my door Friday night.

Well, I am not sure who to send thank you cards to, and I can't afford a thank you billboard. Therefore, a thank you blog will have to suffice (on a side note, while typing the word "blog, I originally typed the word "clog". Those of you who may prefer a thank you clog, either in the dance form or the stopped up drain form, please contact me directly and I will see what we can arrange).

Seriously, not often am I speechless. This gift has touched me more than any of you can ever know. I have no words to describe my feelings. Thank you for the gift, and more importantly, I am ever thankful for the continued gift of friendship from you all.