Hope is a thing with feathers, That perches in the soul, And sings the tune without the words, And never stops at all.-Emily Dickenson

Saturday, November 05, 2005

OCD or ADD?

Just today, the reason for my often chaotic life has become clear. I have known for some time that I have a least a mild case of Attention Deficit Disorder. Someone sent me a funny email a few years back that tells the story of a woman who begins a project in the morining, only to be distracted by another project, then that is distracted by another immediate need, which is then distacted by another issue, and so on... until at the end of the day, she gets back to the original unfinished project, only to wonder why she's too exhausted to continue, because she feels she nothing was accomplished all day. I found that story describes me pretty well some days.
Now, consider this. I have come to realize that when I do sit down to focus on a task at hand, I find I have obsessive compulsive tendencies. I have been known to alphabetize, by category, my canned goods and also my CD's. I categorize all my hanging clothes by type, then style then color, shoes are categorized by color, then by style.
Today, I realized that my ADD and OCD are continually at odds with each other. When life is running smoothly, my OCD kicks in, and all is right with the world. However, during an emotionally rough period, or even just a very busy week or so, my OCD goes out the window, ADD kicks into high gear, and I am lucky if I can find the pair of shoes I am looking for... usually buried under any number of piles of clothes that have collected throughout the house. My ADD also keeps me from following through to keep things as organized as I like them. I'll set it up perfectly, where everything has a place, but things never seem to find their way back to their proper home. I think perhaps it has to do with that whole discipline thing I seem to lack.

I think will try to make a concerted effort to put some discipline and structure in my life.

Check back with me to see if I follow through with that!

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